Occupy My Nutsack

For the last month or whatever protesters have been "occupying" (I am putting this word in quotations because clearly people who aren't employed 24/7 can't be occupied by anything because I say so) in a bunch of cities that don't matter across the continent I happen to live on but don't really care at all about.

Legend has it, these no-talent-bums began this thing on a place in Jew York City called "Wall Street" (BTW- how can a wall be a street? Already we know these guys really suck because they can't get their infrastructure right, am I right folks?) and haven't left since. Then a bunch of other poverty affected cowards decided they didn't want to be as committed as the people in JYC so they made their own hobo camps in their own Podunk hometowns to show "solidarity" with the rest of the so-called "99%" of alleged "humanity." At first I thought it was funny- a bunch of poor people out in the cold and rain freezing to death. But as it turns out these poor people want me to do more than throw quarters at them whilst insisting they dance better and better. They want me to help them. Worse yet- some of them aren't even poor and STILL want me to help poor people! The goddamn nerve of these sons-of-bitches!

I could understand if they were all women or the Blacks/Gays. Sadly folks, they are not. Indeed some of them are white Christian men. In fact the Youtube rumor mill claims that some of them are war veterans. Obviously we know how crazy and homeless war vets are. Why should they help themselves to any of my hard-earned skrilla? Fuck that. I'm watchin' BET instead of some lame assholes complain about how the system sucks. Yeah the system sucks. For you- you deadbeat dickwads.

Look at this dipshit:

I bet he doesn't even have a job! I bet he doesn't even ahahahahshahahhaahahah whatever! He has dreadlocks! Isn't that funny? He wrote his sign on CARDBOARD!! OMFG if only something was misspelled that would be SOOO FUCKIN' FUNNY!!! LOL LMAO WTF!!!!

OK I'm kinda scared these protesters are going kill me. G2G TTYL!

Your pal,
JP

REVIEW: Living With Friends

Family Contact, a Toronto-based film making trio comprised of Zac Tatham, Aaron Manczyk and Efehan Elbi, is about to debut their new web series Living With Friends. After drinking several pints and drunk dialing their agent two nights ago I made a promise that I would review the series on the Daily Pescado. At the time I hadn't seen a single Family Contact film, though after going through their website (http://familycontact.ca) I noticed they have some very enjoyable cartoons and shit.

Living With Friends is a bizarre, unique, hilarious series that would be fun for some of the family. The dry and often awkward sense of humor contrasts the surreal slacker world shared by Zac and Aaron (played by themselves) as they battle eachother for jobs, women, and slinky races. Their boastful series tagline states they are "... trying to make a really good show and make it in an order so it comes off like a TV show." The webisodes are much shorter than syndicated TV shows tend to be (ranging from around five to ten minutes each) they are easy to follow with clear, consistent cinematography and a steady premise for an experimental independent series.

From surfing the internet for costume websites only to pretend to be goth kids in order to impress goth girls to taking a mission through the woods looking for acorns to hock (one dollar a corn!), the friends' back and forth banter is as entertaining as it is genuine. According to Manczyk roughly ten percent of the dialogue is scripted, most of the writing being done primarily through storyboards. Occasionally the sound leveling is off, which is expected when film makers are working on virtually no budget and don't have access to fancy sound equipment and engineering. This results in constant volume manipulation on the viewer's behalf, but the humor and delightful shots make the remote clicking well worth the effort.

I'm quite certain that Family Contact's work will keep improving and will one day be a household name in Canadian film and/or television. Give them a proper film budget and they will give you quality entertainment.

All in all they get 3.5 out of 5. Very fresh ideas, nice camera work. Acting can use workshopping. Proper sound design is needed.

Regards,
J. Pescado