15 Things YOU NEED To Know About Portuguese People

For everyone who already IS Portuguese, this should be a no brainer. We've all walked in the supermarket and been like, what the hell are these chickens? Why does that guy's Spanish sound so muffled? Are my day laborers trying to steal my antiques? Of course, Portuguese people never have these thoughts. Being Portuguese is like being the Santa Maria on a course to a new island, like Macau. No one knows what will come, but they know it will be FULL of adventure.

Here are 15 things Portuguese people are tired of hearing/you need to know before you die!

1. Chickens ARE NOT indigenous to Portugal.

In fact, Chickens come from east Asia. Portuguese people just REALLY, REALLY like chickens.

2. Portuguese people are not ALWAYS speaking loudly outside of Catholic churches.

Most Portuguese only go to Mass ONCE A WEEK, meaning at most they are speaking loudly outside of Church BEFORE and AFTER Mass, in total about 1-2 hours a week. THIS IS NOT "ALL" THE TIME.

3. Every Portuguese person owns at least ONE ceramic chicken.

They are cute and cultural. What's not to love?

4. DO NOT call a Portuguese person you don't know a cleaner or a day laborer.

Even if they are or look to be, you never know. This could really offend some people.

5. Portugal has a rich history.

Sure this involves murdering indigenous people and taking their belongings, but they have a rich history because of this.

6. Brazil sometimes is Portugal.

A few times in history Brazil and Portugal have been the same country.

7. Portuguese women ARE NOT ALWAYS SCOWLING.

This is just a popular fashion trend in Portuguese eyebrow design.

8. Portugal is next to Spain, NOT MEXICO.

This should be obvious to anyone with a map of South Western Europe.

9. Some Portuguese people have small butts.

10. It's rude to refer to them as "pork-n-cheese". 

In fact, Portugal is home to 50,000 Muslims, 10,000 Hindus and 1,000 Jews. Many of these people don't even eat pork.

11. DO NOT refer to Portugal as "Shitty Italy".

It's prefered nickname is "More Than Andorra".

12. Portuguese people DO NOT all live in Rhode Island.

Though the state is home to many Portuguese, Portuguese immigrants can be found all over the world, as well as in their native country of Portugal.

13. Most Portuguese have never been to a catacomb, much less live in one.

Many deceased Portuguese dwell in catacombs as their final resting place, but not until they are already dead.

14. No pope has ever been Portuguese.

In fact, as a PR stunt the Roman Catholic Church has said it will not even consider the idea of a Portuguese pope until the year 2100.

15. Portuguese people are very proud, and are much more dignified than common stereotypes would lead us to believe.

Did you know the Portuguese invented port wine? The very sweet, very strong, virtually unpalatable desert wine is now imitated by several countries for some reason, most notably Australia and the United States.

We hope this has cleared up some issues you might have. If there is anything we forgot to include, please leave us a comment below!