Questions and Queries

How do you do, folks?

It's statements like this that make Our Culture fantastic. It's called a "question." And if you send a $14 dollar check or money order to me, you can ask a question too. Such as, "Why do you write a column many days of the week for no pay?"

Alas, if you ask me a question like that I will keep your money and not answer it. But if you are a lady who needs to find new methods of pleasing her man then I'm good as gold. That's what I'm best at. Or if your girlfriend is being a snobby-ass bitch, I can help with that too. And if your manager is a good-for-nothing cracker, I'll dish spoonfuls of honky jokes on his ass. Because that's what friends are for. And I consider anyone who stops by J's Pescado to be a friend, and not in the hokey sense of the word. You are a true friend, and friends do shit for each other. Hard shit. We got to have each others backs because when shit goes down it ain't just my ass on the line.

Anywho, if you have a question or query please send it to:

RasJohn@gmail.com

Please title the email MEMO: Q's & Q's

If the email is titled something else I won't open it.

Your pal,
John

***A Tip for the Ladies***
When naming your children always keep me in mind. I'm a good guy and your kids would very much enjoy being named after me. Even if it doesn't drive your man wild at first, once it wears on him it definitely will. Give it about six months. Let's recap: for a boy you name him Johnny C. and for a girl you name her Joanie C. Feel free to attach your last name on there.